Friday, October 30, 2015

Here we go......Application Day!

The Journey Begins......Adoption Application Day!

I confess....I could not sleep last night.  The excitement, the anticipation, and well a bit of nervousness and anxiety.  We have been working toward adoption for several years and here we are ready to fill out the adoption application and take that leap of faith, a leap into the unknown.

I have read enough to know that this journey can be full of excitement and anticipation but it can also be a difficult journey filled with mountains of paperwork, red tape, unexpected expenses, amongst a host of other difficulties and struggles along the way and those are just the struggles leading up to the day you meet your child for the first time in the orphanage.

The journey leading up to this day has not been an easy one and I don't anticipate smooth sailing from here on out either, but, I do have the comfort in knowing who it was that led us to this journey and knowing that God is watching over us gives me a lot of comfort as we walk this long road to building our family.

Grateful for the little things

How silly it is that a little stick can cause so much heartache....but it does!  I am just grateful that I won't ever have to see another one of these again!   From my perspective, these are of the devil!  I know we are embarking on a new journey that will be filled with its own challenges but today, just for today, in this moment, I am grateful that this stick will have NO more power over me!  

You may think it strange or even silly that I would make such a fuss over the day we fill out our adoption application.  I know, go ahead pull out your worst judgment or criticism...I'm used to it!  You have not walked in my shoes, you have not been on the journey I have been on, you have not cried a billion tears over the heartache of infertility, you have not felt the tugging at your heart that your family was not complete and felt utterly helpless to do anything about it.  You have not been to the dark places I have been so you may never understand why I would make a fuss over a simple adoption application....but, for me, in my heart I am rejoicing!

Pondering over Special Needs Profiles

As we begin the adoption application process today....we are also looking over the profiles on the special needs list.  It is HARD...we have already found 4 children that if we had the money to do so, we would take them all!  You look into their little faces, read of their challenges of being abandoned at birth, found in the streets and it breaks your heart.  I wish I could just bring them all home....but unfortunately we can't :-(

So we begin the difficult process of choosing just one.....maybe two of them if we can raise enough money to do so.  

When we are matched with a child I will update you with the child's photo so you can see the child that you will be helping us bring home!

Thank you for all your support,

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Beginning of our Adoption Journey....

Our Story and the Beginning of our Adoption Journey...

I would like to first explain the meaning behind the name of this blog as it may seem confusing to many.  

What is a Quiverfull?

The meaning of a quiverfull is essentially the belief that Christian families trust the Lord in the area of family planning.  We believe that we have been commanded by God to multiply and replenish the earth and that this command remains in force today.   As part of God's plan we know that His spirit sons and daughters, as part of their eternal progression, must obtain a physical body and fulfill the mission that God created them to fulfill upon this earth.  

When I reflect upon all the things we place of utmost importance in our lives it saddens me that they are things of this world that we cannot take with us and essentially have no purpose or true value.  As a society we value external beauty, money, prestigious careers, government approved education, cars..... 
When all is said and done, will it truly be the car we worry about on our death bed?  Will those paper degrees on the wall have much   Our greatest treasure is our family, those we have loved and who have loved us, those who we shared our life with, laughed with, cried with, and shared our hope and faith in Christ with.

If you believe in a quiverfull why do you only have two children?

I cannot tell you how many times well meaning, and sometimes not so well meaning, questions and comments have been made on the size of my family.  I don't know why it is, but whenever you meet someone new the first question that comes out of their mouth is.....How many children do you have?

When I say, two.  I get an interesting look and then the comment ONLY two.  If you could see the heartache, the tears, the prayers, the sleepless nights, the begging, pleading and bargaining with God that has gone on in private you would not say such things, or maybe those without compassion and charity toward others may still say them I don't know.

In my seeking answers to why I have been unable to have more children I have slowly, very slowly, been led into the world of adoption.  In my heart I truly wanted to have a big family of my own, it isn't something I talk about with others because I have had enough judgement, criticism and rude comments even from close family members that I just decided not to speak of it.

I will not discuss all the details that led me to this decision to adopt....partially because it would be longer than any human being would want to read, but mostly because it is deeply personal.  

I do believe that families should be kept together if at all possible, however, in our imperfect and unfortunately increasingly wicked world I realize that this ideal is not a reality in all cases.

There are problems in all areas of adoption, most domestic newborn adoption agencies do nothing more than profit off of the sale of babies priced based on their race, gender or health status.  International adoptions are also rife with deceit, corruption and greed as well. It is tough to navigate through the world of adoption and find what God is laying on your heart to do.

I will say that I know that sometimes God has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves.  There are times we are called to have a large family and other times we are called to provide a home for the orphans.

We are called to provide a home for the Orphans

I am ashamed to admit that it took me 8 years of being stubborn and relentless in my desire to have another child of my own to come to the realization that God wanted me to be an instrument in His hands to provide for Orphans.  I may not understand, I certainly would not consider myself the most qualified for such a task.

This has not been a spur of the moment decision, nor was it just a 'Oh, adoption will be fun' idea.  This is something that has been carefully weighed and considered over the last 10 years.  I have read many books, researched, read some more and there are times the thought scares me beyond belief, but I know that God does not work through fear and that He always provides a way for us to accomplish what we need to accomplish.

And so our journey to adopt a special needs child from China begins......