Tuesday, December 8, 2015

International Adoption and the Big Long Wait......

International Adoption = Big Long Wait!

I have read and watched many adoption stories and one common theme is the difficulty in waiting.  Honestly, I usually skimmed over this part of each story thinking, yeah, yeah I know it takes a long time blah, blah.....

You can think that when you are not the one waiting.  It is a whole different story when it is you waiting to go pick up your own child.  I can honestly testify that these people are not exaggerating, the wait is difficult.  We spent time today flipping through photos of Little ¨M¨ from the orphanage and watching videos of her from the orphanage.   It is our only way to connect with her as we wait.

We received the rough draft of our Home-study this morning

We were excited that the homestudy is now officially complete and was sent to us so we could verify that all the information was correct.  We were excited thinking things were moving along....and then were told that the adoption agency will review it to ensure it is complete and compliant with all requirements and that will take a week....then it will be returned to the social worker for revisions, then it is resubmitted and accepted.....and the wait continues.....

Thinking of Little ¨M¨

I just want to give her a big hug!

At night when I am about to go to sleep, I wonder what she is doing, is she happy, how is school going?   I think of her often and wish that the process could go so much faster than it is.  I understand that all parties involved want to make sure this child is going to a loving home and that all things are in order but the wait is hard.  I know we have only just begun in the grand scheme of things, we are just preparing to send in our I-800a in the next week to 10 days.  That process can take 3-7 weeks!

Once that is complete, we are then able to submit our Dossier to the U.S. Government so they can begin authenticating and approving documents, I am told this can take up to 4 months....then it can be submitted to the Chinese Government for the same process, although I do know that if you are already matched your Dossier takes precedence over those who have not been matched.  Well at least in ONE aspect of the process it may go faster than it would otherwise :-)

We are looking at a minimum of 6 months from now......but if everything happened on the LONGEST end of the estimates we could even be looking at a year from now.  It is hard to even think about or imagine waiting that long.  I try not to think about it because honestly, it just all seems so overwhelming.

I am taking it one day, one step at a time and praying every day that everything will go quickly and smoothly.

Just a Tip....Don´t pray for patience

I made the mistake of praying for patience recently, my kids were fighting and trying my patience and of course I was failing miserably and remaining patient.  For some strange reason I assumed that praying for patience would mean my kids would calm down and be easier so that I would be able to become patient with them.   What was I thinking?

That isn´t how it works, if you are going to learn patience, your kids get WORSE, not better!  Well, that didn´t  work out well......soon though the kids did calm down and things got easier and I thought okay, that wasn´t too bad and then.....the adoption process started.   I hadn´t seen anything yet!

If you want a real dose in trying your patience....go through the long grueling work of adoption.  Many people have said, at least you don´t have to be pregnant.  I LOVE being pregnant so I don´t really see that as a bonus and this waiting and paperwork is difficult.  I think it is easier to know your child is tucked inside you, nice, safe and warm for nine months than it is to know that your child is half a world away living in an orphanage without a family and you just want to bring them home and tell them they are loved, they are safe and have a forever family!

I don´t know that I would say the adoption process is any easier than pregnancy.  I know, I have been through two pregnancies and three surgeries, two long stints of extremely strict bedrest, a nurse assigned to check up on me weekly, during those two pregnancies and I would still say that the adoption process is NOT easier!   It may not be as physically demanding but it is far more emotionally taxing that is for sure.  

That is our update for today....waiting, waiting and more waiting.....

Until Next time...

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