Sunday, September 25, 2016

The Blessings of a Sunday Morning.....







A few days ago I shared with you the difficult side of International adoption, there are truly hard days....but today I want to share with you the beautiful side....as I called International adoption a 'Beautiful Mess'   I first shared with you the messy side and today I would like to share with you the beautiful side.

I often spend the quiet hours of the morning in scripture study, prayer or quiet reflection...I have poured my heart out to God in these last few weeks....because caring for a grieving child is not an easy task.  

We all have difficult days, this is a reality of life that none escape and therefore International adoption is simply in keeping with the typical trajectory of life...there are difficult days and dark times....days when you don't know if you can handle another sleepless night..days when you feel that your heart can't take witnessing the grief of a child one more time.......but then the morning comes....

I poured my heart out to God and then I waited....I didn't just get up and go about my day expecting that I could hear Him above the noise of everyday life...I sat and I waited in the silence.  In the silence my aching heart was filled with joy, my tired and foggy mind was filled with clarity.  It is so very difficult to think clearly in the fog of sleep deprivation...everything is compounded and seems so much harder, and yet as I sat in the silence I was filled with clarity.

Experiencing the process of International adoption, seeing how God literally moved mountains to give this little blind orphan a family...I have learned so much of the love of God for every single one of us.   I wish I could share with you every moment of the precious journey that began years before Little miss was ever even born.... I didn't know where God would lead me and I had no idea what He would make out of the ashes of my own heartbreak....but He did make beauty out of the ashes.



When I walk into her room in the morning...at 10 am after she has had a good nights sleep and she is laying there in her bed with a smile ear to ear.....I see God's work, I see His love, I see what He is doing in her life.
As I sat in the stillness thoughts came rushing through my mind....I thought of a blind little girl, frightened and alone abandoned on the streets of a remote area of China.....in that moment.....she lost everything!  
If I did not know God, if I did not know of His infinite love I would be compelled to cry out....How could such tragedy happen?   If all I could see was the tragedy of abandonment, or orphanage life I would say, where is God?   But this is not all I see........

That blind little girl, completely and utterly alone in the world, more alone than most of us will ever be.....was not truly alone.  God was aware of her....He had a plan for her life.....even though in that moment all she could see and all she knew was loss, grief, pain and suffering....but God never planned to leave her that way....A half a world away, He had already begun preparing a family for her!  

As she found herself placed in an orphanage, sitting alone in darkness.......a sister was being prepared for her...who knew she had a sister coming...even though she didn't know how or when that littler sister would come into her life....God was preparing this big sister for her....


She knew when she was six years old, the same age Little Miss is now....that she had a sister that would be coming into our family...God was preparing her to be a big sister to His precious child!  I do not know how I could even bear to witness the injustice in the world...without the knowledge of God, without the knowledge that all will be made right in the end...


On difficult days...I reflect on this little face...this little orphaned girl with a buzzed head and I know I cannot possibly imagine what she has been through in her young life....As heart wrenching as the thought may be...I know that God had a beautiful plan for her, that He never intended to leave her in the ashes of grief and despair...and that although on that day we made her a part of our family in China, she may have felt as though she had lost everything in her life, little did she know that God was giving her Far More than she lost!   I know this with all my heart, that whenever in life we feel as though we are losing everything, when your heart aches beyond what you feel you can bear....God sees the whole picture, and He will bless  you with far more than you have ever lost!

This is the beautiful part of International Adoption.....the days that I get to walk into her bedroom and see this.....

Smiling happy face!

I see brokenness, I see grief, I witness the tragedy of abandonment....but I also am privileged to be a part of healing, to see a smile break through sorrow, I hear her laughter, I watch big brother spin her around the living room for hours, I watch big sister carefully brush her hair and help her get ready for church....

I also witness the joy of God's great work of healing, the joy, the peace and the happiness that slowly but surely brightens each shadow of darkness......and that is what makes it all worth every hard moment!

1 comment:

  1. Much love to you and your family. Beautifully written. Thanks so very much for sharing :)

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