Tuesday, November 22, 2016

No Longer An Orphan....

Celebrating Three Months!




Tears swelled up in my eyes as I began editing this video with the beautiful music that so eloquently describes the feelings I have had these past few months.   The absolute joy and beauty of International adoption is something I could never adequately described in words.

As we walked up to the Civil Affairs office on 'Gotcha Day'  my heart was racing, I was nervous and yet excited with anticipation....we had waited for this day for nine long months and finally here we were in China walking to meet our daughter for the first time.

Dave saw her through the glass windows and I could see tears swelling in his eyes as he passed the camera to our guide and hurried inside to scoop Little miss in his arms.  It was a feeling I will never forget!    That day was like an absolute dream, she was so quiet and sweet.  We took her to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first day as a family and she ate and ate and ate and ate....and ate some more!   I don't think a 300 pound lineman could have out eaten her that day!!

I wish I could say that it has been smooth sailing ever since that day....but along with the beauty of an orphan no longer being an orphan comes loss, profound loss!  This little child has literally lost everything!   Our sweet little girl lost everything that day that she was abandoned on the streets in China years ago!!  Now, on this day...again....she loses everything she has ever known!   She loses her country, her language, her nannies, her teachers, her friends, clothes, toys, sounds, smells, everything that has ever been familiar to her is gone!

As much as we shower her with love, this little girl grieves....she pleads with us to lay in bed with headphones on and just lay there tuning out the world....she cries from 10pm to 2am at night....there are smiles, joy, and happiness along the way, but there are also tears.  We are not past the grief and anxiety...but she has found safety with us, she has learned to ask for hugs and kisses, she loves to say "Good night, I love you."

Slowly and surely this little girl who has lost everything she has ever known and everyone she has ever loved twice in her life amazes me with her resilience as she opens her heart to love again!   Each and everyday this strong, beautiful little girl opens her heart a little more and a little more....she sings her heart out to Christmas music, she laughs and wants hugs all day long!  I am amazed at her strength and her ability to forgive and to move forward despite all that she has been through in her young life.

Her language is slowly changing...

Wo Hai Yao......Do it again
Zuo Che...........Ride in the car
Shui Jiao..........Go to sleep (although she often says good night)
Wo ai ni...........I love you

and the list goes on.....

As her language changes so does she.....we have learned to love this little girl so deeply and she has brought so much love, laughter and joy into our family I cannot imagine our lives without her!